3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
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