dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
