with your own penis?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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