I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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