it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
