yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
