So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
