then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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