Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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