We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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