Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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