We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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