i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
