think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself