the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.