My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I have tasted many bathrooms
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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