Porn is love you can see.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
