He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
