You work out of a Hotel?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize