I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
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