My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
