I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
My dick has a subreddit
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
