Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
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