is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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