thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
