i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
