used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
