i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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