We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
