I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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