And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize
