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Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
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