5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
We left an ass print on the piano.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.