so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
