dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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