2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
