I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
