yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
