You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
