just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
