I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
