he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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