Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
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I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
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I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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