Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
