shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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