oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
