That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
