The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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