Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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