This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
