idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
