I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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