the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize