so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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