so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
All the doctor said was why
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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