I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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