Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
you traded sex for a burrito?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Randomize
